Tangential of a Relationship

Once upon a time you saved me
My knight so brave
Saved me from an early grave
Brought me to the waiting room
So I would not be fired in doom

You can’t go to camp and lead
A band of many kids
When you can barely clang together lids
In the wilderness we met
And then our fate was set

Met you when I was young
I’m still young and so are you
But old souls know the view
From barely knowing one another
To ferrying where I could recover

A cryptic poem and now it’s meta
Cannot even describe how
Every action you take means so much to me now
Sappy at best but a truthful snip
A poem about when you saved my hip

Fairy Tale 3

There’s a twinkle in
The sky when a pregnant mom
Starts craving salad

In the dark of the
Night her husband creeps into
The neighbor’s garden

Little does he know
That she is a sorceress
Who holds a long grudge

The angry woman
Sees that her fresh lettuce has
Been taken away

She pays the young thieves
A little visit the next
Day to get vengeance

A curse on you fools
I want to take your new kid
Or else you both die

A girl is born then
Kidnapping commences and
They disappear, poof

Girl grows up in a
Tower with no way to climb
Down except by hair

Witch calls up to her
‘Rapunzel Rapunzel, let
Down your hair for me’

Some time later a
Prince is eavesdropping and does
Creep on the princess

Thinks on his feelings
Develops unwarranted
Sense of attachment

To a girl he has
Not yet met, so he calls up
With the witch’s words

She lets down her hair
He climbs up and meets her, both
Fall in love quickly

Despite the danger
Of strangers who gain access
To you deceptively

The prince leaves her there
She alternates letting in
The witch and the prince

One day the witch finds
Out about her secret tryst
And cuts off her hair

She hides the girl and
Poses as her when the man
Comes back to get her

Rapunzel is still
Trapped, the prince confronts the witch
She pushes him out

He falls and goes blind
Both him and Rapunzel are
Wandering alone

One day the prince hears
Her song, good thing he can still
Recall her nice voice

She cries on his eyes
Seems gross but gets the job done
No longer a blind

Happy family
Of miscreants united
The witch stayed back home

Dented

Lately I’ve been feeling
A bit like Arthur Dent
Exhausted but I’ve got my towel
Hitchhiking with self intent

I considered drinking tea
To ease my stomach ache
But then remembered how averse
I am when I partake

But ginger ale will also make
My insides now protest
Even just plain boring toast
Is quite hard to digest

My gut feels like I have been punched
Over and more than twice
The stomach flu is not so fun
It’s grumpy and does not play nice

The Run, and Other Healthy Things

Pound pound pound
I know you want my pound of flesh
Beat beat beat
Those beets better be fresh

Tick tick tick
Time to beat the clock
Swing swing swing
The player wants to dock

Hot hot hot
Even in cold you make heat
Close close close
Though lungs close, almost to the end of the street

Slam slam slam
The ground is hitting you
Stop stop stop
You’ve made it to the room with no view

Breathe breathe breathe
Might need to take a minute
Drink drink drink
You’ve gone so far I think you win it

Fairy Tale 2

Conventionally
Pretty, an abused princess
Makes the most of it

Her dad is quite dead
But her step mom is jealous
Of her prettiness

Mirror mirror on
The wall who is the fairest
Woman of them all

Why do you gotta
Be like that, what has she done
To you, her step mom?

But anyway this
Snow White chick goes around and
Sings to all critters

Her step mom angry,
She puts a hit out on Snow
Hires her servant man

But too bad for her
The servant is a softie
He does like Snow White

He lets Snow escape
She runs into the forest
She finds a hollow

Hiding from whatever
Terrified, she falls asleep
In a stranger’s bed

Oh no here they come
Dwarves return from their mining
To see a girl there

They stare, she wakes up
Both parties are confused but
Cleaning makes fast friends

Dwarves hide her from queen
Snow White is oblivious
To stranger danger

The queen tries once and
Twice again to rid the land
Of her one rival

Don’t take food from those
You don’t know! The queen disguised
Takes a poisoned fruit

Answer the door to
Find an old lady with it
Takes that fatal bite

Dwarves return to find her
DEAD. They weep and then put her
In a glass coffin

But now a prince comes
Riding by and sees dead Snow
He wants her beauty

Pays the dwarves in cash
Or convinces them of his
Undying true love

Either way he drags
Her coffin away by horse
Jostled, it shakes her

To her core, rumbled
Bouncing like abdominal
Thrusts, she coughs it out

And breathes, alive to
Tell her tale and to marry
The prince who saves her

Then they get revenge
On the queen who tried to kill
Her so many times

Fairy Tale 1

A needle stabs her
She bleeds then falls unconscious
For one hundred years

In slumber she is
Not aware of the dragon
Guarding stealthily

But then a prince comes
To save her from beauty sleep
Will he live today?

They kiss on the lips
She wakes up rested not mad
Oh good, she likes him

But really who does
A thing like that without a
Simple can we kiss?

Blind Date

All dressed up
Dressed for success
Think you’re not ready
You’re such a mess

The pull and tug
Emotions mixed
Should you not go
No, your face is fixed

Determination now is set
You realize now you’re late
Throw your stuff into your bag
Preparation for this date

Public transport to the spot
You’ll meet your online friend
Took some research, lots of sites
Just hope you won’t meet your end

Stranger danger, heckles rise
But you know you’re prepared
Bringing a can of pepper spray
Just in case you feel dared

Take your friend
For extra criticism
Anxiety rise, butterflies
Start to threaten vandalism

What a weird response
For meeting with an online guy
Is what you’re thinking now
But you don’t know what you’ve come to buy

Judge the looks and personality
But you don’t have the key
This fatal first meeting
Should be happening shortly

Five minutes pass
And fifteen, thirty
Where is this guy? You asks
If he doesn’t show, I’m gonna think he’s dirty

Strange life forms
Start to pass
Suspiciously eye them
It’s not him, alas

Then a sad eureka breaks
Stood up is what you are
But still you wait and look
Because you think that is his car

Spend so much time
Fretting about your looks
Professional, responsible, and has enough money
If he doesn’t see you he won’t swallow the hooks

Your Realtor is mean
Doesn’t care about your money
Apparently he thinks
Leaving you standing is very funny

But two can play at that game
As you learn quite well that day
You call the number on the building
So circumvent your clear dismay

That Realtor doesn’t know
What he’s missing in a renter
He could have made some cash but now
He’ll get reported to the website epicenter

The Day the Soda Weighed Us Down

A mile of round trip
Good thing neither of us did slip
Or that I didn’t bust my hip
My shoulder would have had a chip

Started on our quest
After longer than a little rest
Made a list and checked it twice
But then forgot it, darn, no dice

Out of food but in the store
Why buy less when you can have more?
Five fifty nine or four for ten
MisT and I go spend our yen

Giving up my lent condition?
No, social events are the partition

We decide to split the price
And buy 4 times 12 of my vice
The air was filled with such turmoil
The wind picked up and took all the topsoil

During return almost blown to the sky
I never knew I could almost fly
Thinking that we’d land in Oz
We did not go up high because

Even though the carbonation
Gave me some thoughts of consternation
It did me proud and held us down
Saved us from flying around town