Tiger Propaganda Two

Tigers should be near and dear
To every child’s heart
It doesn’t matter that you might fear
It ripping a child apart

A tiger is a deadly killer
But it may have a conscience
Baby eating wouldn’t be much filler
And tigers always have good sense

A tiger may lament this fact
But tigers know it’s true
And most likely leave your baby intact
So why not let them out of the zoo?


The Hungry Tiger from Ozma of Oz

Beanstock Exchange

If we paid for things in coffee beans
They’d give baristas tests and screens
Coffee shops, they might show scenes
Like people rushing the bank

Might people stop drinking a daily coffee
Unless they’re stupidly wealthy?
Could you trade inflation for high quality?
Would a burned bean earn you less rank?

Baristas would be chased by gold diggers
Or have trophy spouses it figures

Tiger Propaganda

A tiger sits and waits to pounce
His tail may give a little flounce
But tigers, deadly through and through
Can’t wait to stalk and pounce on you

Tigers are the very best
They’ll sleep all day and still need rest
But don’t mess with a tiger’s nap
Else you’ll be dead faster than you can snap


Saltly on the Land

What would I do
If I stepped in a shoe
Full of the salt of the land?

I guess I would cry
Because snow from the sky
Is being melted before it can stand

I don’t mind the snow
But can people just go
And shovel, not sprinkle salt or sand?

I’m tired of tracking in grit
And cringing as if I’ve been hit
But I guess it’s the life I demand

A Mermaid’s Woes

I might hate to be a mermaid
Though someone might be able to persuade
But unless I had a palisade
My only defense would be an offensive serenade

And my hair normally so untangled
Would be so wild I might get strangled
Or perhaps a fish would wander in to be wrangled
I wonder if it would end up very mangled?

My skin being wet, all the time
Would activate itching that felt like a crime
Let along the fact that I’d have but one leg
Which might be worse than one leg a peg

My siren song to sailors near
Would definitely cause them fear
A song that lured, trying to sneak a peer
Would fail by my vocal talents here

Although there’s one thing that might be fine
I could speak to fishes if their speech was like mine
I’d hope to have friends down in the brine
Unless their inclinations were not benign

And any plans for retaliation
Might be foiled by a smart crustacean
So I’ll try my best to avoid mermaid transformation
And stick to firmly land based hydration


But what was my phone
If not a constant source of
Entertainment poems

Though you decided
To cut me off from the world
I’ll fondly think back

We had some good times
But now that you can’t transmit
I will move forward

Your replacement is
Much sexier, with thirty-two
Gigs of memory

You can’t compete there
But you auto-updated
I’ll remember you

Oceanic Sacrifice

I had visited the ruins
I fear I angered an ancient god
When across the land I trod

In the oceanic land
Stealing pictures and buying souvenirs
Walking where the ancients had shed tears

Did they look from final graves
Deciding my tourism offends
I suppose it depends

But ocean gods demand sacrifice
When you visit their domain
This truth is very plain

All I did was one slight jump
During a final dip in the sea
And though much did I plea

The ocean claimed its victim
And the price seemed very steep
My wallet has been sacrificed into the churning deep

Hobbit-Hole is Where the Bed is

A place I’d like to live in life
Would be a hobbit hole
A cozy place I’d keep cluttered
But just so that I could still stroll

I may not be a Vogon of earth
But I can clearly see
The semblance of a hobbit
In everything that makes up me

Short in stature, unkempt hair
I tend to keep things long
I eat five to six meals a day
To keep my stubborn strong

I dare anyone to argue
With my relation to the hobbits
For diminutive size and large hunger is probably enough
In addition to sharing sharp wits