John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt His name is my name too Whenever I go out The bouncers always shout Can you verify your ID with a credit card?
When I don’t figure skate It feels as though my legs will run away without my body When I don’t play my violin My arms are noodles, only fit for cutting onions and causing tears When I don’t write Everything stays in, and I become a boring average When I skate I can fly When […]
Soon to be recent college grad Much more of a mouthful than a name like Brad What do we call these useless lame ducks? Because they aren’t chickens they can’t give any clucks Done with their classes but not taken the exam They want parties but still need to cram And what do we call […]
Could spring be coming? Or is that thought too becoming? For of winter we found no body But who seems to care now? Nobody Could spring come up rising? Or is this a lead in to summer’s uprising? Mutiny among seasons is never more Obvious than a raven saying ‘nevermore’
Going to the gym Does not mean you will get slim You might stuff yourself to the brim When eating food supposed to trim Because feeling that if you swim Benefit will go to your limb If you’re right you’ll have vigor and vim But if not you must go again to the gym
Maybe if I put in Lines in my Sentence I’ll be a real Poet A poem by Stingoray not notavogon. An introduction into real vogon poetry.
What would I do If I stepped in a shoe Full of the salt of the land? I guess I would cry Because snow from the sky Is being melted before it can stand I don’t mind the snow But can people just go And shovel, not sprinkle salt or sand? I’m tired of tracking […]
I might hate to be a mermaid Though someone might be able to persuade But unless I had a palisade My only defense would be an offensive serenade And my hair normally so untangled Would be so wild I might get strangled Or perhaps a fish would wander in to be wrangled I wonder if […]
Is that a giant crushed spider on the ceiling Or a spiderweb crack that has sent me reeling? All I know is I have a creepy feeling
I had visited the ruins I fear I angered an ancient god When across the land I trod In the oceanic land Stealing pictures and buying souvenirs Walking where the ancients had shed tears Did they look from final graves Deciding my tourism offends I suppose it depends But ocean gods demand sacrifice When you […]