John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt His name is my name too Whenever I go out The bouncers always shout Can you verify your ID with a credit card?
Who needs cardio When you have both panic and Rage from your workplace?
In the morning I’m a monster An uncoordinated mess I’m sorry if I poked your eye I’m clumsy, I confess And once I punched you in my sleep I swear an accident Luckily when you woke up Your condition was near mint When I wake up I groan to you About the loud alarm It’s […]
Superglue, my dad would say About the topic at hand He wouldn’t want to stop the day And make the scene more grand My mom would clean and cover With a chance of a call to my pharmacist aunt She’d kill any chance of invasion But the care would surely not be scant But as […]
Hate everyone’s business but mine I tell them I’ll work more, it’s fine What I really need A vacation, godspeed Don’t give me another deadline
Shaken violently awake My dreams will push me out No matter where, at 4am Almost like someone outside of them shouts I coupd consider going To a 5am gym class Its hardly fair I have to go Just to work on my … mass To be honest I’d rather be Awake than in some dreams […]
If I wear high heels The next day is rough, much like A foot hangover Although, if I had Gone out with my coworkers There’d be a real one
You know when you wake from a bump in the night? Well that bump in the night might be me From when I got up to pee Or maybe a coughing spree Sometimes I’ll decide in the night to get up To look over my bookshelf and read And go at a glacial speed Navigation […]
There once was a girl with a cold Who lied and claimed allergies, bold She sneezed and she coughed And they skeptically scoffed That poor little girl with a cold She thought they could be sympathetic And everything more copacetic But they seemed quite hostile So strange the room spiteful Some rolled their eyes, apathetic […]
I could feel my heart drop As I dropped what holds my life Not just some silly prop Causing me this instant strife Just trying to keep it protected Inside my pocket near Instead my pocket rejected The thing I hold most dear My poor unwanted cellphone Dropped down to the harsh concrete As I […]